Mikebird before his morning coffee

Select An Image Mike After Coffee

Mike Sackbird

Status One record in the province, several sightings. A Halifax woman reported seeing a Mikebird getting off the bus, ducking in to Tim Horton's and having a large coffee. Others have reported him in association with a small, orange kitten. He is tame and easily approached, particularly if you offer him loose change or gum. Occurs most frequently on a couch in front of the cartoon channel.

Description Length:190 cm. Adults: Blackish hair on head and upper lip. Plumage consists of Nike sweatshirts and jeans, but these may be shed in spring and summer in favour of t-shirts. Built like a Mack truck this massive bird has a somewhat stooped, apologetic gait, characterized by mild bewilderment: "My mom's, like, five feet tall. I just don't get it."

Remarks Although the Mikebird is a powerful bird, I have never seen one attack live prey. He usually weakens them by making repeated, small alterations of .gifs and .jpgs, squawking "C'mere I wanna show you something" until his prey has risen from her chair so many times that she collapses in a heap on the carpet. He then finishes his victim off by chirping "I think I'll just leave it the way it was."